In the world of work, times are tough. Many companies are reeling from fluctuations in the current economy. While some individuals have already been laid off, others struggle to hold onto their jobs.
Those who are in positions of authority -- managers, supervisors, and department heads -- feel intense pressure to prove their value. In addition to salvaging their own jobs, they must also ensure that their remaining employees produce results. And most of these bosses are operating with limited resources.
Working under such stressful conditions may bring out the worst in your boss. Your once reasonable supervisor may now exhibit some or all of the following behaviors:
- Sending mixed messages
- Finding fault with everything you do
- Delivering random verbal attacks
- Micro-managing you
- Taking credit for your work
- Lying or altering the facts
- Insisting on always being right
- Pitting employees against each other
- Neglecting the staff
- Refusing to make decisions
In response to the boss's erratic conduct it's natural to automatically resort to certain coping behaviors. You may avoid the boss; complain about his or her behavior; even reach a point where you shut the boss out and refuse to interact on any level.
These defensive reactions are your attempt to gain some sense of control within the boss/employee relationship. Unfortunately, they usually result in exacerbating your situation.
How Do You Cope When the Boss Behaves Badly?
As management consultants and authors of "Working for You Isn't Working for Me: The Ultimate Guide to Managing Your Boss," we've identified a number of coping tactics that employees resort to in response to difficult bosses. Below are five of the most common. After each tactic, we offer an alternative, more constructive approach to taking back your power and improving your experience at work.
Tactic #1: Obsession
You can't stop thinking about the mixed messages and conflicting commands you're receiving. Your mind works overtime trying to figure out what's really happening. You review and rehash conversations; re-write emails in your head. You keep trying to find a way to resolve all your problems with the boss.
Try this: Catch your mind obsessing, and ask yourself "Is this really helping my situation?" (Answer: "No!") Then, commit to getting physical -- exercise, walk, play a sport or work out. Use physical exertion to purge anxiety and calm the mind so that real solutions can emerge.
Tactic #2: Avoidance
Unsure of the correct way to handle the boss, you steer clear of any direct contact with this person. You refrain from small talk, remain silent at meetings and generally hide out.
Try this: Counteract your desire to flee with a commitment to stand tall. Avoiding a problematic boss only makes you look cowardly. Focus on professionalism -- stick to your job, document everything and communicate directly with the boss.
Tactic #3: Wishing for the Boss's Demise
This is the office version of revenge fantasies. You picture the boss getting hit by a bus, keeling over in the cafeteria or being hauled away by the police. Whatever the wish, the result is an end to this hideous leader's rein.
Try this: Instead of offing the boss in your mind, focus on expanding your professional network and building your credentials. Tell yourself that getting promoted or finding a better job is the best revenge.
Tactic #4: Badmouthing
This involves looking for opportunities to complain and make disparaging remarks to whoever will listen. You try to hurt the boss by tarnishing his or her reputation. This practice is extremely common, and very difficult to curb.
Try this: The next time you're tempted to badmouth the boss, stop yourself. Commit to re-directing your energy. Rather than burn bridges, create new opportunities. Apply your communication skills to networking, fostering professional contacts and updating your résumé.
Tactic #5: Shutting out
All interactions between you and the boss are strained. You no longer address your manager directly and respond to all requests with silence. In meetings, you refuse eye contact. You general attitude is one of disgust and disdain.
Try this: Anyone who resorts to shutting out is usually in a great deal of emotional pain. Your best strategy, however, is to do whatever it takes to maintain a courteous and professional demeanor. Seek professional help to work out your frustrations and devise a plan for your future.
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